(ps : Blue Salvia lambang dari bunga yang selalu memberikan harapan saat dalam masa kesulitan)
if you are suffering from depression too i hope at least you got something from this.
I've been depressed for almost 2 years like i had no idea what i have to do for my life, i have no one's to talk, i can't trust anyone. there's comes a time when i want to giving up on my life than at some point at my life i realized God never leaves me. not even once.
saya masih ingat ketika tahun awal tahun 2016 lalu hampir 4 bulan lamanya saya sama sekali tidak pernah keluar dari kamar. yang saya lakukan hanya mengunci diri saya di kamar, menolak untuk melakukan kontak dengan siapapun. and what's hurting me the most that i even rejected my mommy (I'm sorry for being so stubborn, Mommy T___T )
i tried to hurt my self even more just because i feel so guilty for him and our relationship. i disappointed on my self because my last relationship ended not in a good way and to the way we both want it.
and i think it's all because my fault. i can't letting go or even the worsed i couldn't forgiving my self. i think as his girl i just haven’t done enough.
as the results i mistreated my self, I even had a panic attacks where I literally couldn’t doing anything; one time I fainted on the bathroom floor. I ended up feeling hollow and empty – like okay, what the hell am I supposed to do now?
and suddenly this comes to my mind " if you don't loved your live then no else will" at the process i have become, i'm so gratefull for God send me angel without wings.. i called them best friends. i let them embrace me and loves me for the way i am. they made me belive that after all the broken things i have done i still have a hope and stop blaming my self for something that wasn't my fault.
Don't ever feel you are not forgiven just because someone told you so.
jangan pernah merasa bersalah untuk segala sesuatu yang dilakukan orang lain.
you never owe anything to anyone. and live your life to the fullest.just live.
cheers !!!!
SELALU ADA HARAPAN ...
what is depression ? Depression is a disorder that is evidenced by excessive sadness, loss of interest in enjoyable things, and low motivation.
if you are suffering from depression too i hope at least you got something from this.
I've been depressed for almost 2 years like i had no idea what i have to do for my life, i have no one's to talk, i can't trust anyone. there's comes a time when i want to giving up on my life than at some point at my life i realized God never leaves me. not even once.
saya masih ingat ketika tahun awal tahun 2016 lalu hampir 4 bulan lamanya saya sama sekali tidak pernah keluar dari kamar. yang saya lakukan hanya mengunci diri saya di kamar, menolak untuk melakukan kontak dengan siapapun. and what's hurting me the most that i even rejected my mommy (I'm sorry for being so stubborn, Mommy T___T )
i tried to hurt my self even more just because i feel so guilty for him and our relationship. i disappointed on my self because my last relationship ended not in a good way and to the way we both want it.
and i think it's all because my fault. i can't letting go or even the worsed i couldn't forgiving my self. i think as his girl i just haven’t done enough.
as the results i mistreated my self, I even had a panic attacks where I literally couldn’t doing anything; one time I fainted on the bathroom floor. I ended up feeling hollow and empty – like okay, what the hell am I supposed to do now?
and suddenly this comes to my mind " if you don't loved your live then no else will" at the process i have become, i'm so gratefull for God send me angel without wings.. i called them best friends. i let them embrace me and loves me for the way i am. they made me belive that after all the broken things i have done i still have a hope and stop blaming my self for something that wasn't my fault.
Don't ever feel you are not forgiven just because someone told you so.
jangan pernah merasa bersalah untuk segala sesuatu yang dilakukan orang lain.
you never owe anything to anyone. and live your life to the fullest.just live.
cheers !!!!
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